Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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