If i could tip my vagina, i would.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you had me at cake vodka
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I want a musical about memes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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