You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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