i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She needs sedatives and a leash
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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