ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize