I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex on a dog bed..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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