She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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