Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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