I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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