Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
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Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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