He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize