Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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