Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize