he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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