I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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