my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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