Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize