The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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