I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize