I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize