Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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