Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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