Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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