duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize