yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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