So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize