he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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