omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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