So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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