after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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