I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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