Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize