Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize