If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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