I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
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The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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