At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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