yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize