i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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