Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize