its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
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There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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