This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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