The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize