I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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