so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize