where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize