So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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