I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize