Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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