only you would photoshop your dick
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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