69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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